Exasperated - Homeschooling the Subjects that Frustrate You and Your Student

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If we're honest? Yes, homeschooling can be frustrating sometimes! One huge source of exasperation for parents and for students is that "problem subject" - that one subject your kid just does not like or understand. The subject area that finds you at your wit's end in trying to explain a concept they don't get. 

You don't need to be stuck there. You can do this. Take a deep breath and let me offer some perspective and a few tips to get past the exasperation and frustration and get back on track.

Even the best and most compliant students have a subject they don't like as well as others. Or find something to complain about. Very few kids like everything about school, and chances are there will be something they need to learn that they don't want to, or they will balk at something because it's too hard.

So if your kid persistently avoids math, or complains bitterly about how hard writing is and how much they hate it, take heart! You're not alone. How you handle it is different depending on your child's age or grade and some other factors. I have had students that dislike or struggle with entire subjects, sometimes to the point of avoidance; and I've had students that hate doing certain kinds of assignments.

Early grades - In general, younger students object boring or repetitive tasks more often than entire subject areas. Kids that 'hate math' or 'hate spelling' might be expressing their dislike with worksheets or flash cards or spelling lists. Spelling lists just aren't that exciting most of the time, and fidgety boys and girls tend to get impatient with pages of worksheets. It may be best to take a break from the subject if a child isn't academically ready, or is getting very stressed. Knowing when to be done for the day, or when to ease up on a subject for a few days can be helpful. Don't skip over basic reading, writing, and arithmetic skills, but be open to taking a different approach.

 
High School - Starting in middle school grades, you will find there are subjects kids don't like that well, but may be necessary in order to comply with the standards you must follow, or that are necessary credits for graduation or college acceptance. As they get older, it's more likely that they will realize that no matter how boring they think US History is, they have to have that credit to get their diploma.

"Why do we have to study this??"

Is it a skill you must learn or a subject you must cover? This is the first question to ask before deciding how to handle it. Skills kids must learn are basics - reading, spelling, math, following instructions. You can adjust the timeline for learning, or the teaching method, but they are basic necessary skills. For high school, there are requirements for credits in certain subject areas, but there may be quite a bit of flexibility in the courses chosen for some of those credits.

Is there another way to cover the subject that works better or is more enjoyable?  Sometimes it's a matter of scaling back expectations to something more realistic. Teens that really dislike reading can include a little bit of important literature along the way but don't need to do a full credit Literature course.  Diagramming sentences isn't the only way to understand grammar. Consider the possibility of switching curriculum if it's a necessary subject, or look for a co-op or tutor that can help in some subject areas. Dual enrollment in a community college is another possibility. One of my sons did great in Chemistry when another mom taught it as a small class. My daughter was less likely to procrastinate with History homework when she had to have it done for a co-op class. I know kids who give their moms all kinds of grief about doing English or Math, but manage just fine and ace the classes at co-op or community college.

Find motivation. High schoolers sometimes need help understanding why they need to study certain subjects. If they know what they want to do after school, that can help direct their efforts. Sometimes the best you can offer is that they need a passing grade to get the required credit, but that might also be what powers them through it. My oldest son complained about grammar, but when he decided he wanted to get into journalism I was able to help him see the importance of having solid writing skills. He never complained about grammar again. He didn't like it, but he knew why it was important so he got it done.

Enlist help. A tutor, a mentor or a study buddy can be a big help with studying the material. Helping your student figure out how they learn most effectively can encourage them to take responsibility for their own motivation. I recommend Victus Study Skills System to help students gain insights into how they learn best. When we reviewed it a couple of years ago, my daughter was inspired to make a few adjustments in her study routine. She learned some strategies for test preparation which meant less stress and fewer complaints. Another way to enlist help is to give a respected adult - a youth leader, one of your friends, a parent of one of their friends - permission to check up on how your kid is doing. The interest and encouragement of another adult can be a good motivator.

Read our full review of Victus Study Skills System here: Victus Study Skills - A System for Effective Study

The original version of this article appeared on Homeschool Coffee Break on March 26, 2019.

This post is linked at Inspire Me Monday. It's also part of the Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge hosted by Anita Ojeda. Find all my posts for the challenge here: Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge - Disappointed

 

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