Ordinary Days

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Disruptions to the rhythms of our ordinary days can throw us off balance and cause stress. For some people, even small unexpected departures from the routine can be a challenge. Even for the personalities that tend to be easygoing and can roll with the punches, disrupted routines can bother them more than they let on. 

One device often used to create conflict in fiction is to introduce a character in the routine and then to disrupt it. This throws the character off balance and gets them into trouble, and creates the conflict that gets the story rolling. In fiction it's entertaining, but the reactions of fictional characters are based on the responses that we have to disruptions to our real lives and changes to our plans.

I'm generally flexible and spontaneous, and don't seem to be very organized, so I don't have a strict schedule. But I do fall into a rhythm for my days and weeks, and I've been surprised at how unsettling it is to get out of sync or to get used to a new routine.

When my kids were very little, I wasn't the type of mom to keep them to a carefully timed bedtime or meal time, but a missed nap or meal could jack up an entire day. When we were homeschooling, we had gym class on Tuesday and co-op on Thursday, and we were out of sorts if we had to miss one or the other. Sick days or vacations could leave us feeling unsettled too.

Recently, my husband's job ended and he's been off work for the entire month of January. You can bet it's messed up our routines! It was a change that we weren't prepared for, and we had to figure out how to cope. What we've tried to do in this season of change has been based on what we've learned while navigating so many other changes to routines over the years.

Maintain as much continuity as possible. We have been doing our best to get up and go to bed at roughly the same times we'd been used to for all the years he's been working. Get up, get a cup of coffee, get dressed, and start the day just as we would have when heading for work. The difference is that we have the coffee at home instead of in a travel mug and have a little more flexibility. But if we'd said, "oh, he doesn't have anywhere to go today, so we'll sleep in a little bit" I guarantee we'd have wasted every morning. 

Make the disruption work in your favor when you can. Or put another way - see the positive! As it turned out, our daughter's class schedule and my class schedule are way out of sync this semester. We'd planned to get a second vehicle in early January so we could manage the situation, but without a job we didn't feel comfortable doing that. But on the other hand, because he didn't have a workplace to get to, my husband could be our personal Uber driver on the days we needed. It gave us a bit more structure to those days, and gave him something to do and an opportunity to have one-on-one time with our daughter. And it's bought us a bit of time to plan the vehicle purchase. We've also managed to get projects done around the house that had been waiting for us to 'have the time'.

Establish a new normal if necessary. I really hate saying that because the phrase 'new normal' has been grating on my nerves throughout this covid era! But if your routine will be different for any length of time, or you're not sure if you'll be able to return to your disrupted routine, your best bet is to make the adjustments proactively instead of fighting them. My husband will be starting a new job in a couple of weeks so we are planning ahead for the new routines we'll need then. We'll need another vehicle, and we'll need to do ride-sharing on a couple of days. Household responsibilities will look a little different because his work hours will be different. By thinking ahead, we're hoping to save ourselves some stress during the adjustment period that's coming soon.

How do you adjust your balance quickly when your routines are disrupted?

For the Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge, I've decided to explore the theme of living well and with purpose during times of change. A few years ago, as I neared the end of my years as a homeschool mom, I realized my world would change when my youngest graduated. My roles in the homeschool community and in my social circles were affected. Things changed in the workplace. Things are ever changing at church. And as my children grew up and the nest has begun to empty, family dynamics are changing. To our surprise, my husband's job ended at the very beginning of 2022, and that has brought another round of changes to consider! I know very well that writing about coping with change is not the same as having all the answers. I'll do my best to share what I'm learning and experiencing, and I'd love to hear from others in the comments.

This post is part of the Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge hosted by Anita Ojeda. Find all my posts for the 2022 challenge here: 28 Days of Coping With Change

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