Shake The Dust Off Your Feet

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Have you ever realized that it was time for you to walk away? The workplace or the group, or even a relationship was just not good for you any more. Or maybe it never was good for you but you finally figured it out. Or maybe it was simply time - that season was over. That can be a really tough change to deal with, even though you know you're better off!

If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. ~Matthew 10:14

Many years ago I walked away from a job because the workplace environment was not good for me any more. There had been some personnel changes and I'd lost trust and respect for at least one co-worker. There was a new manager who was not a nice person. I finally decided that paycheck was not worth it, my husband and I talked it over and prayed about it, and I gave my notice. I didn't have another job lined up, and no prospects, but I was happier when I didn't have to be in that place any more.

But in the weeks following - until I started working at a new job - the changes were stressful! Beyond the concerns over finding employment and a big reduction in our income, my daily routine had changed and I had lost contact with the couple of good friends I had at that job. 

More recently I left a job because it was too hard for me physically. And there were other things that were weighing on me. It was time to leave. My knees were relieved, but it was still a difficult change in my world.

I've had to cut off or severely limit contact with friends because they were toxic and negative. That was hard. Again, a sense of relief that I was protected from the poison but there was a part of me that felt guilty and worried that I hadn't handled it right.

We've even had to leave a church because of unhealthy dynamics. Twice! The politics had trumped the mission of the church. The division and negativity was something we couldn't participate in any more. The leadership had gone off the rails and we had done all we could to address the situation and try to get things back on track. We were under attack, and we were so glad and relieved when we felt that God had released us from that situation and we could move on. But at the same time, we felt we were adrift without a church home, we dreaded 'shopping' for a new church, and we wondered whether we would feel safe in a church again.

Leaving a bad situation is a positive change, but it's still a time of stress. Some of these coping strategies can help:

Take Time to Rest and Regroup

If you've reached the point of needing to get out of a bad place, you've already been under stress, and chances are you need to rest. Taking a break from your usual activities, relaxing your routine, or getting away from it all for a little bit may help you gain perspective. When we left the church, we let ourselves have a couple weeks off before even visiting any other church. And when we did start looking for a new church home, we took our time and were deliberate about what we were looking for.

Grieve If You Need To

That workplace might have been sucking the joy out of your life, but there was probably something about it that you genuinely enjoyed, or at least one co-worker that you will really miss. Acknowledge that loss. If you feel like you've failed by leaving a job or a group, or that you might be missing out on something because you've left, acknowledge that loss too. Hard decisions and moving on usually involve both positive and negative emotions, and pretending the negative doesn't exist isn't healthy. When I've had to block a former friend or limit contact, I had to let myself grieve a little because a friendship had died. The person that I used to like spending time with didn't exist any more - it was a different person that I no longer liked or trusted, and it was a loss. We also had to allow ourselves to grieve the church that we left. We had poured our hearts into building that congregation and felt like we had failed in the mission.

Learn and Grow

If there's a lesson to learn from that hard experience, learn it and allow God to use it to make you better. Not bitter! 

Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow,

will return with songs of joy,

carrying sheaves with them.

~Psalm 126:6~

Weeping my stay for the night,

but rejoicing comes in the morning.

~Psalm 30:5b~

Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

~Matthew 5:4~

We sometimes have to leave, but God will NEVER leave us.

For the Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge, I've decided to explore the theme of living well and with purpose during times of change. A few years ago, as I neared the end of my years as a homeschool mom, I realized my world would change when my youngest graduated. My roles in the homeschool community and in my social circles were affected. Things changed in the workplace. Things are ever changing at church. And as my children grew up and the nest has begun to empty, family dynamics are changing. To our surprise, my husband's job ended at the very beginning of 2022, and that has brought another round of changes to consider! I know very well that writing about coping with change is not the same as having all the answers. I'll do my best to share what I'm learning and experiencing, and I'd love to hear from others in the comments.

This post is part of the Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge hosted by Anita Ojeda. Find all my posts for the 2022 challenge here: 28 Days of Coping With Change

This post will be linked at Let's Have Coffee hosted by Joanne Viola: Days and Thoughts.

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