A Cup of Coffee and a Word of Advice - Keep Your Perspective

I've got time for a quick cup of coffee and chat this morning, and then I'm off for a busy day. The funny thing is that when I chose the tips to share today, I didn't even think about how the two appointments we have today illustrate what I'm going to talk about. Let me explain - right after I pour myself a bit more coffee.

Okay, our two appointments today - first, we're meeting with a few of the other students in Landon's graduating class so they can practice some music for the ceremony. Because he is GRADUATING, y'all. As in, he had his senior pictures taken yesterday - what??? This is really happening, and it's happening soon.  And then after that practice, both kids have to visit the eye doctor and get updated prescriptions for their glasses or contacts. I need to get my prescription updated too, so I suppose I'll make my appointment while we're there. The hubster just had his eye check yesterday.

What does all that have to do with tips for homeschooling? It's all about perspective and vision. We started homeschooling a long time ago, when our oldest child was ready for first grade. It seemed then like it would be forever until my babies grew up and graduated, but of course we all know how the time flies by, whether you're having fun or not! So today I have a couple of tips about finding a balance between keeping your focus on what you are doing today and the more long-term goals that you need to keep an eye on as well.

Strength for today and a vision for the future are found the same way - by seeking God.

That's why prayer and time in the Word are as essential to your homeschool as they are to your parenting and all other aspects of your life. Ground your plans for your child's education in God's wisdom, from your decision to homeschool in the first place to the day-to-day choices of teaching from a Biblical worldview.

Know that your goal is more than just academics.

Reading, writing, and arithmetic are important, but are only part of the big picture. We're raising up a godly generation of healthy, mature, responsible adults. Teaching them to honor God, to maintain positive relationships, and to be able to lead and influence with integrity are the ultimate goals. From an academic standpoint, I want them to have a well-balanced education and have the background to pursue whatever career they choose. I want them to know how to research and study and learn on their own so that they have the tools they need to succeed in college and in their life's work. Teaching those disciplines of learning, and doing it with a solid Biblical foundation and worldview will also equip them as they mature into independent adults.

Make worthwhile memories.

What do you want your kids to remember about their growing up years once they are out on their own? What kind of stories do you hope they'll have to tell their own children? I hope the scale will tip heavily to memories of love and laughter, togetherness and fun; not to impatience and sternness, pressure and disapproval. So our day-to-day experiences need to be full of those positive things, and that requires a little perspective adjustment from time to time.

I can see that for me, the next couple of months will be full of finding the balance. Pushing kids (especially the grad!) to get that coursework done and done on time, but not sucking the joy out of every day by being a nagging slave-driver. Holding them to a high standard for their schoolwork, but not making them feel like straight A's are the only way to get approval or self-worth. And getting all the papers graded, report cards and transcripts accurately completed, while also planning a grad party and the Summer of Landon vacation celebration. Believe me, these tips were at least as much for me today as they might be for anyone reading them!

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 3:13-14

Get more perspective for homeschool parents from the Schoolhouse Review Crew bloggers! Join the blog hop to read more!

This post is part of the May 2019 Homeschool Collection on the Homeschool Review Crew blog.

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 ©2006-2016 Homeschool Coffee Break. All rights reserved. All text, photographs, artwork, and other content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written consent of the author. http://kympossibleblog.blogspot.com/

A Cup of Coffee and a Word of Advice - Be Yourself

Be yourself is what we often tell our kids, but it certainly applies to us as moms, and can apply to our homeschools too. Think for a moment about how you define yourself, especially when you meet someone new. If you're like me, at some point during your introductions with someone you've just met, you'll say that you homeschool your kids. And then maybe you'll inwardly tense up just in case they'll come up with one of those weird and vaguely critical comments, or just say, "oh." and the conversation is sort of over. If your new acquaintance is also a homeschooler, I'll bet that on some level you are going to wonder how your method will stack up against hers.

Homeschool Mom, there is more to you than being a homeschool mom, as incredibly awesome as that is. And you probably already know this, but you need to be careful about comparing yourself to anyone else and their homeschool. Got time for a coffee break so we can talk a bit about it?

Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. ~attributed to Oscar Wilde

 You've probably said something along this line to your kids at some point, to encourage them when they feel like they don't fit in or wish they could do or be something more like a friend or someone they admire. So you know the value of being comfortable with who you are, and accepting that your strengths, talents, and interests are unique. Let's make sure we're living that out!

Know your style and what works for your homeschool.
You know your child's learning style, but you should also know your own learning style, and your teaching style. It might take a little time when you first start homeschooling, but you will learn what works for your combination of learning styles and interests, and within the context of your family. Find your own style, and own it! And then . . .

Don't compare yourself to others.
Learn from other homeschoolers, and get ideas from other homeschoolers, especially those with a little more experience. But don't beat yourself up because you can't accomplish the same things, and don't feel like something is wrong with the way you homeschool just because it's different.

Remember to be YOU.
Take off the homeschool mom hat regularly and enjoy the other aspects of the person you are. Just be Mom, without the teacher tag attached. Be the wife. Give your marriage high priority - it needs to be your highest priority relationship after your relationship with the Lord. Your kids will grow up and graduate and leave home, but you are intended to be with your marriage partner for your whole life. Invest in your marriage accordingly. And yes, look after yourself. Just like they tell you on the plane with the instructions about the oxygen masks - you do need to care for your own needs in order to be able to care for your kids. So take a daily break, even if it's just for a few minutes of quiet time. I strongly encourage you to start your day with prayer and Scripture. (And of course coffee is part of my morning routine!) I know that when you have babies and little ones, it's especially hard to carve out those few minutes of peace and rest, but it really is essential for your sanity! Look for ways to do things that YOU enjoy personally. Things where you are not primarily acting as someone's mom. I have a few things that I do regularly that I like because I'm just "Kym" and not "Mom" or "Mrs". I love being the Mom and the Mrs., but I'm an individual too. I'm very blessed that my husband understands that, and that he and I can pursue some individual interests as well as interests we share as a couple.

Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else. ~Judy Garland

Get more helpful tips for homeschool parents from the Schoolhouse Review Crew bloggers! Join the blog hop to read more!

Or start with these participating bloggers, who are each bringing their own individual style to this blog hop!

Jeniffer @ Thou Shall Not Whine

Jennifer @ A Peace of Mind

Jennifer @ Faithful Homestead

Joelle @ homeschooling for His Glory

Joesette @ Learning Curve

Kari @ Random Acts of Boyhood

Katie @ Katie's Daily Life

Kemi @ Homemaking Organized

Kim @ Homestead Acres

Kylie @ Our Worldwide Classroom

This post is part of a Coffee & Conversation Link Party at PatAndCandy.com - Join us!


This post is also linked to the Looking After the Homeschool Mom Round-up on the Homeschool Review Crew blog.

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 ©2006-2016 Homeschool Coffee Break. All rights reserved. All text, photographs, artwork, and other content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written consent of the author. http://kympossibleblog.blogspot.com/

A Cup of Coffee and a Word of Advice - Be Confident

One of the most important themes of the encouragement that homeschool parents want to pass along to others just starting out, or wondering if they should get started homeschooling, it's this: You can do this! Undoubtedly, it's hard work and a big commitment, but I believe that every parent that feels the call to take charge of their own children's education is uniquely qualified and able to do the job.

Join me for a cup of coffee and let's talk a little about why you are your child's best teacher, and how you can be confident in your homeschool.

The first thing I do need to tell you is that it's probably universal for homeschool moms (and dads) to doubt themselves at some point. Am I doing a good enough job? How will I teach algebra (or whatever subject) when I never really understood it myself? Will my kid be able to get into college? Is my kid missing out on important experiences like band or sports? Am I covering everything I need to? Will my kid wind up being socially awkward? Will I ever have time to myself again? These questions and lots like them - some weighty and some that might seem trivial - can haunt us as homeschoolers. So if you feel a little bit out of your depth from time to time, that's normal and not necessarily a bad thing. After all, taking full responsibility for your child's education alongside the responsibility of parenting is a big deal and a big commitment. Don't take it lightly - rely on God for wisdom; be open to support and help; and do your own homework to prepare. And then take it one step at a time.

Be confident that you are qualified to teach your child.

You know their interests, their strengths, their weaknesses, their passions, and their challenges. And you love them and are committed to their success in life to a degree that no other teacher can come close to. Also, you're already a teacher. Goodness, if you can teach your baby to talk, use the potty, and eat with a spoon, you can teach her how to read.

When you come up against an education challenge that you're not specifically equipped for, there are lots of options for getting help. I'm talking about the high school chemistry and algebra concerns here, because that's a common worry for parents that didn't excel in those subjects. You don't always need to be the teacher in the sense of being the expert that lectures the student. Be the facilitator that finds the resource that suits the child's learning style, and helps talk through the lesson material; or that finds a like-minded co-op or tutor that can provide the expertise needed in specific areas.

Be confident in your decisions.

If you've decided to homeschool, you have probably done a LOT of thinking and praying about it, have weighed your options, and have made the choice you feel is best for your family. So don't let the naysayers bring you down. You may have family members that disagree with your choice, but remember that is is YOUR choice, not theirs. In general, thank them for their concern and either calmly address the concern (if it's a valid question) or politely ignore and change the subject.

What if it's your kid that challenges your decision to homeschool?  That is actually pretty common among homeschooled teens. They think they might be missing out on something cool or they might be getting pressure from their public school friends; and their reaction is to tell you how much they hate being homeschooled and so on. I got it from one of my kids, and a lot of the homeschooling families I know have had at least one kid (almost always a teen) try this. May I remind you again that you are the parent and it is your responsibility and privilege to make this decision? You should listen compassionately to your child's complaint, and try to address the root of it, but at the end of the conversation, you will need to stick to your conviction, because you are the adult in charge.

Be confident in the nitty-gritty details.

Sure, we're flexible. But that does not mean we're pushovers, or that we let our children manipulate us in our 'classroom'. If you have set a standard for an assignment or a deadline for something to be done, stick to it. This is part of parenting and it should be a part of educating as well. Establish your school rules as you do your house rules and be clear about your expectations and about the consequences if the expectations are not met. If your kids are old enough, get them involved in deciding what reasonable expectation and consequences should look like. (Remember that you're in charge, but teens can have valuable and reasonable input on some of the rules, plus if they feel like they've had their say and their opinion has been respected, they are more likely to be co-operative.) You may need to set a standard for bedtime, for how much time is to spent on schoolwork each day, or for when screen time is allowed, even if your homeschool is very relaxed. Kids, especially teens, do still need boundaries! Make sure everyone knows the rules and what the consequences will be, and then stick to them. If you've already established that kids can't hang out with their friends on Friday night unless all their schoolwork is done, then you won't have to scramble to think of a punishment when Junior admits that he did not write the History paper he was supposed to. You - and Junior - already know what will happen: he can't go out with his friends. End of story. From experience, I can tell you that you'll probably only have to play the card once or twice and they'll know you mean business and the work will get done. If your students are working independently - trust me on this, because I've learned the hard way! - check their work often! 

Gain more confidence from the helpful tips other homeschool parents are offering up this week! Head over to the Schoolhouse Review Crew blog hop to read more!

Or start with these participating bloggers,

Melissa @ Grace Christian School

Michele @ Family, Faith and Fridays

Missica @ Through the Open Window

Monique @ Mountain of Grace Homeschooling

Rebekah @ There Will Be A $5 Charge For Whining

Renita @ Krazy Kuehner Days

Sarah @ Renaissance Mama

Sasha @ Such a Time as This

Tawnee @ Adventures in Homeschooling

Tiffany @ The Crafty Home

Tina @ Desperate Homeschoolers

This encouraging word is also linked to 5 Days of Homeschool 101.

This post is also linked up on the Homeschool Review Crew Blog for the 5 Days of Homeschool Blog Hop (Spring 2018).

 Don't miss a coffee break! Subscribe to Homeschool Coffee Break by Email!

 ©2006-2016 Homeschool Coffee Break. All rights reserved. All text, photographs, artwork, and other content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written consent of the author. http://kympossibleblog.blogspot.com/

A Cup of Coffee and a Word of Advice - Be Realistic

It never fails. At some point during the school year, as I'm grading or checking assignments, it occurs to me that there is NO WAY we are going to complete everything I thought we'd do during the year. Not only that, but I look at the calendar and see precious little white space that can be used to catch up either. I've talked with enough other homeschool moms that I know it's not just me. I'm getting much better at this, but it doesn't come naturally. How about you? Are you overbooked and overwhelmed by all you've still got on the homeschool to-do list? Sit down with me for a cup of coffee and a reality check.

I love this Tinkerbell coffee mug, but I also need to be reminded that pixie dust only gets stuff done in fairy tales, not in the real world. In the real world, it takes time and effort to get stuff done, and if I don't take that into account, things may not go well. In other words, we need to know our limits and try to set goals that are achievable.

 Realistically, you will not get everything done.
There are only so many hours in a day. You can (and should) use your time efficiently, but the reality is that it may still not be possible for you to do everything that you think you should, or everything that someone else thinks you should. That includes all the housework and cooking and outside-the-home activities. Sometimes you'll have to decide whether it's more important to sit with your struggling reader and encourage and help them all morning long, or to wash all your walls and floors on the same day. Or maybe you'll need to put off the time-consuming science experiment  for another day, because a friend is recovering from an operation and you are helping her out with housework and childcare.  There will be days when you can't get ALL the laundry done, or clean the ENTIRE house top to bottom. Be realistic about your expectations for yourself and what you can accomplish in your homeschool and in running your household. Enlist help from your family whenever possible. It's a very good thing for kids to learn how to do all kinds of household chores. 

Realistically, you'll need to leave some margin.
This is is so that you'll have room to be flexible, like we talked about yesterday! Allow time and space in your schedule for those unexpected things that will come up. Don't over-schedule and overbook yourself or your kids, or you will risk burnout. Too much pressure do get too much done to an impossibly high standard will kill the joy of learning and set you up for failure and exhaustion. Count up the empty squares on your monthly calendar, and the unscheduled hours on your daily agenda. If there aren't any, or there are very few, take a look at that schedule and decide what you can cut in order to allow for downtime and breathing room.

Prepare and plan in a realistic way.
As you put together lesson plans, and four-year plans for high school, and even your family's calendar, recognize that there are limits on what you and your kids can accomplish. Plan a course of study or a daily routine realizing that your kid won't grasp every concept and complete every assignment within the shortest possible time frame. By leaving some wiggle room in your agenda and having a couple of options already penciled in just in case Plan A doesn't work, you give yourself permission to be flexible.

Realistically, you know you're not perfect.
Neither are your kids. We all know that in our heads, but still we compare ourselves and our homeschools to others and to some rather unrealistic standards. Do what is best and what works for your family, and resist the temptation to copy someone else who seems to have it all together. 

How do you set goals for your homeschool that are a challenge, but still realistic? Leave a comment and let me know!

Get more reality checks for homeschool parents from the Schoolhouse Review Crew bloggers! Join the blog hop to read more!

Or start with these participating bloggers,

Annette @ A Net In Time

Brandy @ Kingdom Academy Homeschool

Brenda @ Counting Pinecones

Carol @ Home Sweet Life

Cassandra @ A Glimpse of Normal

Chareen @ Every Bed of Roses

Cristi @ Through the Calm and Through the Storm

Crystal @ Crystal Starr

DaLynn @ Biblical Womanhood

Danielle @ Sensible Whimsy

 Don't miss a coffee break! Subscribe to Homeschool Coffee Break by Email!

 ©2006-2016 Homeschool Coffee Break. All rights reserved. All text, photographs, artwork, and other content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written consent of the author. http://kympossibleblog.blogspot.com/

A Cup of Coffee and a Word of Advice - Be Flexible

Having just come from a holiday weekend, a week especially full of distractions, and some much improved weather, we have a touch of spring fever at our house. My guess is that it will escalate in the next couple of weeks too, and that poses a problem - we have schoolwork that has to get done!! I know I'm not the only homeschool parent that faces this dilemma so grab a cup of coffee and let's talk.

Distractions, disruptions to routines, minor emergencies, lack of motivation - these things happen to all of us, and sometimes it's predictable like spring fever and winter blahs, but often it's not. What can we do when things aren't working out the way we'd planned? My answer is something that comes relatively easily to some people, and is more of a challenge for others.

Blessed are the flexible, for they will not be bent out of shape.

That humorous quote has a lot of truth to it. The ability to adjust and adapt when life throws us a curve can save us a lot of stress and headache. I think flexibility and patience are related. When you're flexible, you can shift to a Plan B without panicking; and similarly, you're practicing patience by not coming unglued when things aren't going well. You can maneuver through the obstacles with a confidence that it will all come out okay in the end.

When you're having a bad schoolday for whatever random reason
Just take a break. Put the books away and go outside or do something fun. Tomorrow is another day.

When the schedule you thought would work is constantly being disrupted
Change it up. Try moving things around a little to get more in sync with your real life.

When you don't seem to be able to get it all done
Relax. Are you trying to cram too much into the day? Be willing to do "just enough" in the things that are less important, or skip less important things altogether, so that you can devote the necessary time to the essentials. You probably know that in the public schools, they rarely finish the entire textbook. As homeschoolers, we may hold ourselves to a higher standard of what we consider 'completion', but that still doesn't mean that you must do every possible assignment and activity.

When you or your kids are lacking motivation
Again, consider taking a break or switching up the routine. Sometimes shaking things up a little helps.

When you're falling behind 
All those little disruptions and slow-downs eventually add up and you realize you're way behind in a few subjects. Declare a catch-up week. Put the subjects that you've kept fairly current on hold for a week and work only on the subjects in which you've fallen behind. Or declare a Science day (or whatever subject) and spend the whole day knocking out the work for that subject and get caught up.

When a curriculum is not working out
Well, first try to figure out why it's not working. Once you know what the problem is, you can consider ways to tweak the curriculum or adjust to compensate. For instance, a lot of writing required in a history course and your student hates writing - reduce the number of written assignments or have your student do quizzes orally. Practice being flexible with how you use curriculum! And if a curriculum is really a bad fit for your student, be flexible enough to change it! That might be a tough pill to swallow if you've spent a lot of money on it, or it's something you or a sibling loved, but if it is making your kid miserable or he really isn't learning, it's not worth it.

What's your best advice for being flexible as you homeschool? Leave a comment and let me know!

Get more helpful tips for homeschool parents from the Schoolhouse Review Crew bloggers! Join the blog hop to read more!

Or start with these participating bloggers, and see what advice and helpful hints they are offering today!

Latonya @ Joy in the Ordinary

Laura @ Day by Day in Our World

Leah @ As We Walk Along the Road

Lisa @ Farm Fresh Adventures

Lori @ At Home: where life happens

Meg @ Adventures with Jude

Megan @ My Full Heart

Melanie (Wren) @ finchnwren

Melissa @ Mom's Plans

This encouraging word is also linked to 5 Days of Homeschool 101.



Dear Homeschool Mom, You are not alone. Visit the Homeschool Review Crew blog for Mistakes We Have Made as Homeschool Moms Round-up, and get some encouragement from Crew members.

 Don't miss a coffee break! Subscribe to Homeschool Coffee Break by Email!

 ©2006-2016 Homeschool Coffee Break. All rights reserved. All text, photographs, artwork, and other content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written consent of the author. http://kympossibleblog.blogspot.com/