Changing With The Seasons

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I've been dragging my feet about finishing up this Coping With Change series, and I'm not sure why. It's not just this series, it's writing in general, and just about everything on my to-do list! Lack of energy or motivation lately, and maybe it's just the winter blahs. I've also been watching for signs of spring and how I hope that will wake me up from these doldrums. The weather is starting to warm up a bit, the crocuses are starting to bloom, and we just had to 'Spring Forward' and all these thoughts about the change of seasons reminded me that I should write something about change. So here I am. 

It seems there are seasons to parenting. An overarching seasonal development as children move from infancy through the growing up years until eventually they leave home as adults. And although their leaving home might feel as cold and bleak as a bare tree in winter sometimes, it is also the beginning of a new cycle in a sense.

I think there are also seasons during the various stages of parenting, on a smaller scale. At different stages of development, kids prepare for next steps and start out with something new, then flourish and thrive with the new skills or maturity, and perhaps new freedoms or independence that they earn. But a letting go time follows that independence, as parents must step back and let kids be on their own. This can definitely feel like an autumn or even wintery season. During some winter seasons in the cycle, there's a period of quiet and rest where not much seems to be happening, but that rest may be necessary for the next round of learning and blossoming.

Let us acknowledge the LORD;

let us press on to acknowledge him.

As surely as the sun rises,

he will appear;

he will come to us like the winter rains,

like the spring rains that water the earth.

~Hosea 6:3~

Looking back, I can see many times when one of my kids had hit their stride in whatever new thing they were learning, or in finding out something about their purpose and what made them unique. Exciting times, to be sure! A five-year-old learns to read; a middle schooler falls in love with a sport or hobby that brings out their best; a high schooler makes decisions about a college or career path that is the perfect fit. And a young adult makes a choice of mate and sets out on their own. Times of great growth for them and for me as a parent. I'm not much of a gardener, but it's not unlike the pleasure of seeing the trees bud and the tulips come up and the roses bloom. I may have tended the garden, but the growth is not really my doing.

But the next stages often held some bittersweet. Once my little one could read on their own, that meant a little less time spent on my lap requesting stories. When that young teen was delighting in music lessons or playing on a sports team or creating art, nurturing the interest and talent meant my time and money was being stretched. When the older teen started pursuing their goals and dreams, that also cost time and money, and inevitably would take them off on their own. Rather like the bold colors and crisp air of autumn. Exhilarating and beautiful, but a reminder that the season will soon change, and those leaves will drop. It's a time to do a bit of cleaning, prepare and protect for the next season.

Be glad, people of Zion,

rejoice in the LORD your God,

for he has given you the autumn rains

because he is faithful.

He sends you abundant showers,

both autumn and spring rains, as before.

~Joel 2:23~

The winter seasons are harder to define. And less predictable than weather cycles. But no matter how good and healthy the family dynamic, there are times when kids and young adults need their space and the atmosphere can feel chilly. Or it may seem as if nothing is growing and changing, but bare and dormant. Be patient and wise. Sometimes that frosty layer is protecting the growth happening underneath, and it will surprise you just like the crocuses and daffodils that seem to burst out overnight in the springtime. Keep the walkways cleared of snow so communication can continue, and wait on the Lord's timing.

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.

~James 5:7-8~

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

~Galatians 6:9~

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See my related posts: Empty Nesting and Changing The Mama Bear Mindset

   

Let Cubs Grow Up - As the fictional Queen Elinor found out the hard way, our kids do not want or need us to control their every move and dictate all their choices. They must be allowed to grow and mature and take responsibility for themselves. And Mama, you need to gradually and gracefully let them go. This is perhaps the hardest work a mother has to do, but it's essential if a child is to become a fully functional adult, and parents that cheer and encourage will make that process much smoother than parents that cling and control. 

For the recent Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge, I had decided to explore the theme of living well and with purpose during times of change. A few years ago, as I neared the end of my years as a homeschool mom, I realized my world would change when my youngest graduated. My roles in the homeschool community and in my social circles were affected. Things changed in the workplace. Things are ever changing at church. And as my children grew up and the nest has begun to empty, family dynamics are changing. To our surprise, my husband's job ended at the very beginning of 2022, which brought another round of changes to consider! (He started a new position in February, and moving was a change we did not have to deal with after all!) I know very well that writing about coping with change is not the same as having all the answers. I'll do my best to share what I'm learning and experiencing, and I'd love to hear from others in the comments. For a bunch of little reasons, I didn't finish writing and posting the last week or so of this series, so these last few are being published after the challenge period ended.

This post is part of the Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge hosted by Anita Ojeda. Find all my posts for the 2022 challenge here: 28 Days of Coping With Change

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